A divorce decree may end a marriage, but those who have children together will always have some kind of relationship. Parents who divorce continue to be in each other’s lives as they raise their children, and they can take steps to make co-parenting after divorce go more smoothly.
Put the Child First
One thing that all those who successfully co-parent after a divorce do is remain child-focused. Parents realize that they have issues between the two of them but the most important thing is that they work together for the benefit of their children. Parents need to avoid arguing in front of their children and avoid saying negative things about the other parent in front of the child.
Avoid Competition
When parents split up, they might be tempted to prove that they are better parents than their former spouses. When a parent has a competitive mindset, he or she is more interested in finding fault with the other parent, rather than working with the other parent for the good of the children. Parents should put each other in the best position to succeed for the sake of their children. Freely sharing information about the children and helping an ex-spouse if he or she needs it ultimately benefits the children.
Communication Is Key
The ways that parents communicate with one another can have a huge impact on how well they can co-parent. Parents should strive to remain civil, even when they are frustrated or upset with the other parent. Many find that pretending the other parent is a customer or client from work is helpful in keeping emotions out of conversations. Another technique parents employ is keeping the conversation focused solely on the children and avoiding the temptation to stray into irrelevant matters or rehash long-standing arguments.
Making sure to listen to the other parent is critical, as well, rather than giving into the temptation to ignore or tune out the other parent. It shows respect for the other parent, even if the parents do not agree on an issue they are discussing.
Additionally, many parents find communicating via email or text message prevents conversations from escalating into emotional conflagrations. Using children as messengers to communicate with the other parent is a recipe for disaster, as it potentially puts children in the middle of parental disagreements.
Remain Flexible
Parents who can be flexible with parenting schedules often find co-parenting easier. Parents should realize that situations arise and schedules need to adjust to accommodate changes. Additionally, parents who demonstrate they are willing to work to accommodate changes to schedules find that the other parent is often more willing to work with them in the future when they need to adjust things.
Raising a child is difficult job. Parenting after divorce can present even more challenges. Child custody issues are often complex and require advice from an experienced family law attorney. If you have questions about child custody, talk to a capable family lawyer who can offer you counsel about your situation.
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